Monday, July 23, 2012

Unripe Avocados Bring About Life Lessons

Yesterday I decided to try out a thing called domenticity and cook dinner for Jake and I. Everything was going smoothly. I had the main dish in the oven. The aroma was delightfully tempting. Things were looking good.

I started gathering the ingredients for this bean salad dish that I was opting to make. Beans, corn, tomatoes, basil, olive oil.... avocados. I had just purchased these avocados at the Mecca of grocery stores aka Walmart. I was so excited because they were refreshingly cheap. But they were hard. We're talking rock solid. I bought them anyway. As I was prepping to make this dish, I turned to Jake for help when trying to figure out what to do. I was NOT making this salad avocado-less. Nope, I was not. Everyone who knows me knows just how stubborn I can be when I make up my mind about something. So Jake takes a knife to the even-more-stubborn-than-jessica avocado and tries to break into it. No luck. At this point I'm thoroughly annoyed that we cannot seem to force our way into the insides of this stupid piece of fruit. (Yes, the anger has not subsided yet.) Yet somehow, my man manages to crack that baby open.

I truly cannot convey to you how unripe this avocado was. I'm frantically running my brain, trying to figure out our next steps when Jake comes up with the brilliant idea to COOK THE AVOCADO. This would surely soften it right? He manages to scoop out about 4 small slivers of the demonic thing and puts them into a saucepan. I go into my room to cool down because I'm honestly so mad at this avocado for being so very difficult. (I'm dramatic, I know.) I sat on my bed and googled "How to make unripe avocados soft." Google then pulled up a plethora of answers. The top answer seemed to be "Get a ripe avocado." or "Wait for it to ripen."

Well, thank you Google! You just produced the answers to the universe. I am forever in your debt! Except I'm not because that was the worst answer ever. I am hithertoforth only using Bing.

After a few minutes, I walk back into the kitchen. Success! The little sliver guys that Jake had been cooking were somewhat soft! I bit into one. Pure nastiness. I image that if you were to satay slices of buttcheek in oil, the taste would be equivalent to those cooked pieces of avocado. Not good people, not good.

I sadly accepted defeat and we start eating, salad-less. The dinner was excellent none-the-less and the evening was nothing short of perfection. (I mean Emily picked Jef so of course it was a splendid evening. Love this season more than anything. Sorry, Jef is just so adorable. Can't even handle it. hi jakerz.)

As I sit here at work, unable to do anything because my email system is down, I think back on this "incident" with this avocado. It seems like these days, I'm always trying to force things to happen right when I want them to. I take no heed to whether or not they can even happen. I hate when things go wrong and try to make things work in my favor. Time and again, my impatience gets the better of me and I break down in uphappiness, wishing life could be different. If I just had this or that, my life would be so much better. My world becomes clouded with if-only's and soon enough my eyes become clouded with tears of disparity. I fail to realize that sometimes, everything doesn't work out right when you say it should. And sometimes, you just need to sit back and wait for life to ripen.



  1. Ha avocados are one of the world's arch nemeses! I can never find one that's ripe, even when they specifically say that they are in the shop!

    Lea x

  2. ha ha ha I was laughing so hard when I read thisss. Love you.


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